Kate Moss
Credit: Kevin Callan

The case of my missing paddle is finally solved—but the dreadful demise of Ms. Kate Moss is still a mystery.

This was the second blade I hid for the Paddle in the Park contest this year. The first was tucked away behind a massive birch tree on a portage behind Mazinaw Rock in Bon Echo Provincial Park. The Stinson family found it. The full story with pictures and video can be found here.

The second paddle was placed on a portage heading into Noganosh Lake. My daughter and her friend Preston Ciere, from portageur.ca, were responsible for caching it and teasing paddlers with clues throughout the summer.

The second blade was taken, but the person who discovered it didn’t report the find and claim the prizes for several days. There was great concern that some anti-paddler took off with it and used it for firewood. The evidence sure did point that way. You see, Ms. Kate Moss was left dead at the scene.

My daughter had named a uniquely shaped stump marking the spot where the paddle was hidden. "Ms. Kate Moss" was a good name for the chunk of wood—it looked like a woman wearing a skirt made of green moss. But she wasn't wearing a top—so my daughter adorned her with clothing made of two hazelnut leaves held together with blades of grass. Now, however, the paddle has been taken and the stump has been torn from its roots, its handmade bikini-top tossed into the woods and the green dress stripped off. Who would do such a horrific thing? Kyla was devastated when she heard the news.

Preston, who considered Ms. Kate Moss his new girlfriend at the time we hid the paddle, went to check on the scene of the crime. He brought flowers, burned the stump and spread its ashes in the lake. A fitting ceremony. That story can be seen on Preston Ceire’s Portageur Facebook page. It’s a good giggle.

Kate Moss RIP
Credit: Preston Ciere